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Sorry for being quite gang... been real busy like lately. nothing really good to report with the busyness just trying to kick my art practice up another notch.

Still need to schedule that doctors appointment for my blood sugar. Have been doing awesome with it lately barely ever going above 120 after 2hrs eating but went out to lunch with a friend for Mexican. Had a bottle of soda, tortilla chips, tacos and rice. Two hours later and tested, level was 159. Check it again with my other hand and the level then said 139 which is still high.

Whatever the case may be for those two numbers I still need to get a check up with the doctors.

It's been an internal struggle. One moment my sugar is high the next it's not ... really need to sort that out. Man if I die before I find happiness in my life, a better job or even a place to live... sheeze that would suck!

Talk about being a waster life!

BUT with that said though I've seen great improvement with my art lately... it's been hard finding time to draw. Working a full time; coming home, getting a shower, cooking dinner and cleaning ... finding time in-between all of that for about two or three hours of drawing is exhausting... sometimes I'm falling asleep while I draw lol!

I won't give in though. :)

Hopefully my next post will be sooner then the last and it'll have the doctors results in it. :)

Quick Update

Just a quick update before I have to retire. Still hear, still breathing!

Still not looking good health wise ... sugar is still exceptionally high BUT good news. I can manage it and keep the levels normal if I eat a relatively low carb diet and if I want a sweet I have to have tiny desserts (nothing greater then 20g in sugar per sitting).

I still need to go to the doctor to get the diagnosis but it looks like pre-diabetes as I can still have a certain amount of carbs while keeping my glucous levels normal. But that will change as I get older as I fear it's probably the same as my mother, type 1.

Some people were asking what my fasting numbers were and i'll tell you they were fine 80-to-90 range, however; type 1 diabetes is often missed with fasting because a type one's sugar level will return to normal when fasting BUT the numbers will go critically high after they have a meal with carbs in it just like a person with type 2 (when they test two hours after starting a meal that is). The only difference is that a type 2's blood sugar will not return to normal during fasting.

Also other signs are showing that tells me I have at least something wrong with me. It's been two weeks since I've put myself on a low carb diet and I actually feel REALLY good. I used to be constantly tired, not feeling to hot, queasy and just overal not good. Now that I cut back on carbs I feel more awake, not so queasy and my headaches have gone away! Knowing what to look for now I can pretty much tell when I've had to much sugar now and have been right on the money when I check.

I won't lie I'm terrified to go to the doctor to get the official diagnosis... It just sucks coming to terms with something like this. Also sucks realizing that while I can live a normal life with this I will probably live a shortened life, who knows though. If I'm careful I could be kicking around for quite some time! :)

Don't worry I will go to the doctors and I'll let you know when that happens. later!

Hehe

Can I get a break please?

My mother, for giggles, wanted to test my blood sugar after a large sugar induced dinner yesterday. She's diabetic and wanted to show me what a normal blood sugar would be two hours after eating.

Mine was 133 .. should have been 100 or less.

So had a smaller dinner today and it was still over 100 when tested 2hrs later. It was 114.

Great now all my family is worried that I may be in the beginning stages of diabetes.

Pardon my language but god fucking dammit... why'd I agree to take her stupid strip test! I'll snap if I'm in the beginning stages of diabetes. I may go to the docs eventually to get it officially tested ... but dammit that machine better be broken or it better be normal for me.

I weight only 115 lbs, so trust me it's not because of that. Diabetes is a genetic disorder in my family that onsets later in life. I was prepared for it but NOT IN MY 30'S!!!

dammit.

Update:

No I'm not über depressed or anything... Just venting and getting it out of my system.

Dear journal

three of my closest friends were unceremoniously fired from their jobs today. It sucked.

Sorry I've been quite gang just been busy and nuts (literally and figuratively). Been a bit rough lately with work as mentioned above with my friends being fired today... I always thought a college took care of their people but how these friends were removed due to budget cuts... yeah that was a big ole lie.

Have 19 or 20 applications out west for programming positions... would love to hear from some of them. I know about half have already been turned down... the other half I can't track so that's anyone's guesses.

BUT... some good news!

Next month is anthrocon and I will be rooming with soba, spunky and gan... it will be a blast needless to say! Gosh it's been four years since I last sat in "the chair" I wonder if I'm still up for it (wink wink nudge nudge). Still no real clue what I'll be up to at anthrocon... perhaps I'll just wing it. We'll see.

Any Ideas/suggestions?

I also think anthrocon will be the kick off for travel for me as well. I have a butt load of vacation time that I will probably be spending to head out to California to some job fairs or comic con fairs to try to look for work. I know I can put my art and programming skills to better use.

I want to believe there are still jobs out there where you are treated as a human being and that fun can be had while you work. I just have to dig for it I guess...

And with that have some doodle art!


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